Talisman: Digital Edition

Talisman Digital Classic Edition. This one is a board game. A very boring tabletop game I must say. Why did I redeem it? It looked cool on screenshots but when I played one game of it my “hype boner” immediately went soft. Rolling dices are not that fun as I thought it to be. I mean the art on adventure cards looks great music is good too. But gameplay is so numbingly tedious and boring. It probably would be more fun if I played it irl with friends, pizza and soda but digital version of it isn’t fun at all. 

Point of this game is to get the “Crown of Command”. This artifact will make ruler of the land and that’s how you win. And for that you need to do a lot of boring and tedious shit. First of all you need to pick a character from the list. The roster is huge but thy locked behind paid DLCs. I don’t know if there some of them are unlocked buy doing some achievements and I didn’t get far enough. Those characters have 5 stats, strength, craft, Life, Fate and gold. After game starts you need to get to the center of the map to get the crown. But there are shit ton of obstacles in your way. You need to overcome them and most of times your stats won’t be high enough and you luck would be shite. So you grind your stats for several hours to up your chances at least on the stats side. Your dice rolls would most likely still be shite and you’ll spend all of your re-roll coins on it. Anyway there are several ways to approach the crown. There is raft, sentinel’s bridge, portal etc. Then you’d need a talisman to get on next to the last layers. You can get those randomly or by completing a warlock’s quest. And there is big bad dark lord or some shit mofo you need to defeat. I didn’t get far enough and to the dark lord by sheer luck and mind numbing clicking skipping AI’s turns. But since I played it for the first time and I didn’t know about the grind part I didn’t have any chance of winning this battle. How do you grind? Roll your dice, move your figure, draw an adventure card. It could be anything, enemy, equipment, coach, bag of gold etc. So if it enemy you fight using either your strength/craft or psychic power. If it is an equipment then you got a free items like “If you die, roll the dice and if you roll 6 your equipment saves your from taking damage”. If it is a master then said master can raise you stat for a price or depend how you roll. Repeat for couple of hours then decide if you strong enough to attempt to penetrate a layer, repeat. 

God there is so much shit to read and it’s so boring. If your “this” is that then you get plus that and that. This kind of stuff. It is multiplayer so you can play with up to 8 people I think. But why the hell would anyone ever want to do it? This shit is for stereotypical nerds like in “Simpsons” or in “The Bully”. D&D is better than Talisman, MTG is better than Talisman, Yu-Gi-Oh is better than Talisman, hell even shitty Russian CCG Berserk is better and I doubt people ever heard about it. It is not for people with ADHD heck even for not for normal people. It’s for people with autism. The likes of people who play Hearts of Iron or Civilization. At least it was delisted from Steam so no one would be it accidentally and ruin his day. Frankly if I want to read a lot I’d read a book and not bunch of “if” cards. So It’s clearly not my type of fun and I’d never recommend it, boring, boo, skip over, next one.